Evil Panda

2008-08-31T19:58:00.000-07:00

Because I'm too lazy now to even rant

I knew Mallus were shady, but this is ridiculous.

2008-08-28T22:25:00.001-07:00

So, one day i open my mailbox, and there's one item which catches my attention. Some fellow in the Noida campus who joined with me has started a grassroots movement to get the title Member of Technical Staff changed to something else, because his grandma thinks hes a greasemonkey when he tells her what he's called at work. Obviously, i had to join in. I need suggestions for cool sounding job titles, so i can keep the morons at Noida occupied.

P.S.This only goes to prove my theories about intelligence being linked to geographical locations.

2008-08-19T23:59:00.000-07:00

Opeth's Remember Tomorrow is the best cover ever.

2008-07-03T20:43:00.001-07:00

WTF?

So I sign into facebook the first thing in the morning when I reach Chennai, and this is what greets me.

Somebody up there is laughing away.

2008-06-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

Occupational Hazards

I was in a hurry to meet Andy the other day, and i left my comp unattended. I come back the next day to find Srini calling me a senseless mad person. Nihar had hijacked my gtalk account. Luckily all my chats are saved (see post below :) ) and i was at least informed of the total damage done. It's pretty hilarious, and i thought I'll put it up here. Too bad Nihar's leaving on the 8th. He's a jolly good fellow.

me: hey
u der ?
richa2526: hello :)
i didnt know oyu were taking cat next week!!!
me: hey..how are u
long time no see
richa2526: went to noida?
me: no no..in bangalore only
richa2526: oh ok
so when do you go to noida?
me: im NOT going to noida!
where r u now ?
richa2526: but i thought you were going for 3 days :|
i am in ahmedabad
me: o hya. that done
now back in bang
richa2526: thats what i have been asking :P
how was it?
me: really good
richa2526: met sahil?
me: lots of guys ! :)
could not
he not so handsome
richa2526: huh?!
me: nothing... just a topic that was being discussed here
abt guys being handsome and all
richa2526: oh ok
oh ok
me: out of context sorry
btw... dont mind.. but.. do u think i'm handsome ?
richa2526: maybe not really handsome but definitely cute :)
me: come on... dont lie... every girl in noida was saying i was ugly :( :( :(
richa2526: btw, is nihar still there or is he joining iisc?
me: there was some team building game in which i had to ask them.. they all said like that :(
richa2526: i am not, you could ask mk and all too, i've always told them you're cute!!
me: ya..he will be leaving next month i think..have talked to him only once.
oh thank you so much ! :-)
im blushing !!! :)
richa2526: :)
me: are you also blushing ????
richa2526: why should i blush? :P
me: as u are thinking of me !!! :)
richa2526: haha!! :P
me: serious yaar !
tell naa
please
richa2526: i am not blushing!!
:)
me: why not ? u only told that i am cute !!
richa2526: yes, you are
but that still isnt any reason for my to blush :P
me:ok..leave that... do u think i have cute dimples too ??
:)
you ran off :(
i thnk u shy to blush in front off me
thats why
:) ok..tata then :)

2008-06-28T06:57:00.000-07:00

I want

I've been reading a lot about these people lately, and they seem to be doing some very cool stuff, namely making the works of Tamil pulp fiction writers accessible to the English speaking world. And i saw this awesome t shirt on their website, that i must have. check out www.blaft.com for more cool stuff.

2008-06-24T11:11:00.000-07:00

Buwahahaha

This is my workspace. Ha.

2008-06-20T11:45:00.000-07:00

Lolzzz

My friend nambi found these posters, which are plastered all over the streets of Chennai. While most of us would avert our eyes at the sight of Piles in big bold letters, nambi read on. Incidentally, the person on the poster calls himself Dr.Biswas. Curiouser and curiouser.

2008-06-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

Good ole times.

masai: ha ha
me: haha wha
what
masai: how u've taken it from undy
TILAW
me: TILAW?
only retards use acronyms
masai: the only trick u've learnt in nw
me: retards who cant spell out what they want to type
at least i am in nw
not some clubless loser like you
:D
masai: it aint a great thing to get in wid jugaad
me: are you picking garbage on the beach to make up your three credits?
hmm. jugaad. i suppose every talentless loser is using that word as an excuse for his pathetic miserable clubless existence
i notice you havent denied the fact that you are a loser
fuck. when you learn to type
i'll still be here
seeya
masai: it doesnt matter wat i do for my 3 credits, its none of your business too
me: ok
good for you
at least you are keeping it a secret
must be exciting
retard by day
garbage man by night
masai: atleast i'm not a loner like u
me: whole new alter ego and all
who
whoa
masai: tell me 1 guy who likes u
me: youve obviously mistaken pity for friendship
tip : no one wants to be friends with a loser
masai: ha ha
me: but most people are too nice to tell it openly
masai: and tats y u have no friends
me: see this is why you are a retard
there are two statements here
A:masai is a loser
b:masai has no friends
i said A->B
not B->A
dumbass
masai: lets get back to the crux of the issue
u r rejustifying andy's claims
me: no lets kick your ass some moew
more
masai: about the only thing u know in life
which u picked up after getting into NW
me: whoa there scumbad
scumbag
shitweasels like you arent qualified to talk about NW
when you get a life then you talk about it
masai: u cant get under my nerves with filthy language
me: good for you
masai: can u even kick a football?
me: and i thought you were absolutely useless
now you know you have at least one redeeming quality
masai: i'm sure u'll suffer a lonely quick death with your unhealthy mind, exerciseless body n torn soul
me: the patience of a donkey
thanks for looking into my future and giving me hope retard boy
but i dont need any cheering up from you
i know im going to have a lonely quick death
and i dont really care
masai: so how many blockades u already have in your arteries?
of cholestrol deposits?
me: at least i am not leading a miserable excuse for a life like you
masai: do u have medical insurance?
me: we all do, dumbfuck.
that card they gave you
it wasnt to shove up your orifices
its a mediclaim card
masai: tat aint no good for your deadly diseases
at max it can cure a flu in padmavati
me: you obviously havent read the booklet that came along with it
masai: v're talking bout multi million dollar business to the medical industry bcos of patients like u
me: i advise you to do so
masai: psychiatrist's pleasure
me: i dont think the kind of disease a psychiatrist treats is deadly
at least not to the patient
masai: anyway i've got an exam tomo. this chat has got my adrenaline up and pumping
thanks a lot
atleast u can do that for others.
me: hey no offense
i was only fucking around
masai: cant waste any more time on wastrels like u
cya
me: i wanted to see how much damage you can take
but if you're pissed
theres more where that came from
masai: ehe
me: best of luck for your exam
masai: i was seeing the damage u can take too
ofcourse panda
i've always been on good terms wid ya
and a bit of belting doesnt uhurt among frnds
me: sure
masai: so how did i figure in your stress interview?
me: im pretty sure you got very pissed
your exact words were
masai: hehe. not really. i ventured into the lion's den and kindled it. i chose to fight
me: anyway i've got an exam tomo. this chat has got my adrenaline up and pumping
thanks a lot
atleast u can do that for others.
please dont make a big deal of it
i was being nice to you
if i really wanted to rape you
go see what i did to vikram
masai: ah puhleez!!
stop acting like a dick head
me: look im done with my mid sems
i can talk all night
masai: hehe ok
me: why dont you go slog
masai: ok
wens d next booze party in your wing
me: not sure
almost everyones placed
so
masai: ok then until v meet next time in the coming "stoned" age, cya
me: once kashyap and gayru get placed
or if swami gets shell
masai: cool

2008-05-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

Rambling on

Christian Tamil is weird. I saw a notice the other day which said "kartharai thedungal. Appozuthu nee pizhaipai". Roughly translates to "Search for the lord. Then you will survive". Ominous, to say the least. Thats obviously not what they intended.

Then there used to be these notices a few years back all over the city for something called "arputha sugam alikum agni abhishegam". "anointment by fire which gives wonderful pleasure". Don't even ask me.

The weirdest thing is Tamil christians talk like everyone else. But the language used in their services is very noticeably distinct from the common formal tamil used by Hindus.
Maybe it's because the missionaries who spread the religion in these parts many centuries ago intentionally introduced these differences, to distinguish it from Hinduism. Or maybe they were just noobs who didnt realise how funny their tamil sounded.

2008-05-08T01:12:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah!

A few hours back I wrote a post about wanting to belt the Ramadosses for being morons and in what is surely a case of divine retribution, the SC snubbed Baby Doss in the AIIMS act issue a while ago.

I've followed TN politics with much enthusiasm for a while now, purely for its entertainment value. Having strong roots in the movie industry, Tamil politics has long since now given up all attempts at any sense of propriety and instead addressed the issue at the core of the national consciousness - that effective government is not about solving the problems of the common man, but rather about providing him with adequate sources of entertainment to take his mind off the drudgery of existence.Tamil politics is the first reality mega serial.Mr.Ramadoss(the senior) is its comedian par excellence.

Papa Doss runs this quaint little party called the Pattali Makkal Katchi.(Working People's Party, roughly).If you thought he was one of those commie rats, think again. The PMK is in reality, a caste party, and quite a powerful one at that. Having near absolute control of the Vanniyar vote bank, Papa Doss has managed to stay on top of the game by regularly hogging the limelight with his fatwa style edicts against Rajnikanth, Kamal Hassan, and ... i think that's it. Mr.Doss has spent the bulk of his political career launching protests for no-brainer causes. He went through this phase of tamil pride where he took out a rally of fellow Working People and blackened English hoardings in an attempt to exorcise the ghosts of the Raj from the Tamil consciousness. He also tried very hard to prevent Kamal from releasing a movie titled "Mumbai Express" because the title was not in Tamil. A fucktard if ever there was one.

While his many acts of stupidity may be pardoned purely on account of their entertainment value, one act stands out as a crime against nature - shitting out the bastard mutant zombie that is Baby Doss. Baby Doss was relatively unheard of even in state politics till these previous elections when his dad, no doubt by means of shady dealing, managed to get him the health portfolio. Junior then quickly decided to live up to his dad by making a national joke of himself. Father and son have promised Indians that if they come to power at the centre they'll enforce prohibition. Lolzzzz. That should certainly help their cause.
Last year, I watched in horror as Baby Doss razed the most prestigious medical institute of this country to the ground just to help him overcome his insecurity about his undersized penis.(I think all dictators are dealing with issues regarding underdeveloped genitalia).The Supreme Court today snubbed Baby Doss and reinstated the former director of the AIIMS. I'm beginning to have some faith in democracy again.People are already demanding the resignation of Baby Doss, but that might be too much to expect. I'm happy for the little acts of justice. The lord be praised.

2008-05-07T12:55:00.000-07:00

Reservations

Too much has been said in the past year on the topic of reservations , so it's only fair that I add to the cacophony. I was reading India Today( or maybe Outlook) on the West Coast and there was this one guy who'd written a letter about some story on student suicides(I read the letters page. If someone has a life, contact me. I need one.)This guy went on to claim that the story was poorly researched because it didnt give adequate coverage to how meritorious students are facing trauma on account of the reservations. I was pissed as hell.

There are many people I know who share some of his views, though I doubt any of them are stupid enough to suggest the reservation policy leads to the suicide of "meritorious students". Someone has to speak out for the poor oppressed OBCs and I think I'll take it upon myself to do it.

Much of what's been said about meritorious students and the unfair treatment being meted out to them rests on a set of assumptions people take for granted. People assume, for example, that the JEE or the CAT are excellent indicators of merit, merit in this case probably being a byword for intelligence or competence. That a good score in one of these exams is an indicator of the intelligence of the test taker, and that by bringing in reservations more competent students are being forced to give up what their rightfully earned seats in an IIT or an IIM in the name of social equity.

Bollocks. The JEE is merely an indicator of one's ability to do well in the JEE.I'm sorry if my mobius strip-like definition has set in motion a chain of events that will ultimately lead to the universe collapsing on itself, but I can't think of any other way to put it. True, JEE coaching was a liberating experience for many of us. Had it not been for KSR, this crazy old man who taught me math for the JEE, I might have all but given up on acads. The months before the JEE was probably the most intensive in terms of academics in my life, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

On the other hand, the JEE itself has long since been hacked. The gults and the kota chaps were the first to do it, but others soon followed.(KSR used to call them IIT factories). It's still possible to crack it based purely on smarts and a bit of hardwork, and I suspect that most of the top 200 or 300 rankers are quite smart. Unfortunately, the majority of JEE aspirants, are just a bunch of mugpots ploughing their way through sheafs of FIITJEE material, in an attempt to learn by heart every conceivable problem that could appear in the exam.(inclined planes, collisions,magnetics, collisions on inclined planes, magnetic collisions on inclined plans,and so on ad infinitum). I've known total morons who hoodwinked the JEE and made it to an IIT.(Try philophart.blogspot.com if you don't believe me.)People who can solve incredibly complicated integrals but have no idea of what a limit is, or that the definition of concepts is indispensable in science, and that it is a crime to circumvent first principles in favour of a barrage of solved problems.Clearly, the JEE has long failed to filter the intelligent and the competent from the senior citizens writing the JEE for the 6th time and finally succeeding.

And that precisely is my point.That cracking the JEE is as much a function of one's ability to access the coaching facilies as it is of aptitude. Most of these programmes are quite expensive.(FIITJEE's classroom course costs a couple of lakhs.)Generation after generation of students from the backward classes have had their chance at a decent higher education denied, because of their inability to access the right coaching facilities. The creamy layer provision more than takes care of those sections which do have the finances to access these facilies.

One last thing: The reservations were brought in because we live in a country where 70% of the population are backward castes, and the statistics on higher education do not reflect a commensurate percentage of students from this background. The detractors of reservation, with their cries of merit being neglected, are implying directly or indirectly, that somehow, 30% of the countries population are the reservoir of merit, while the remainder do not possess the adequate merit. One of the interesing effects of the caste system is probably the stagnation of gene pools, due to the practise of people marrying within their own castes( and sometimes their own families).In effect, these people are claiming that intelligence( and again I'm equating merit with intelligence, because I don't see what else it can be equated with) is a function of genetics, which is just bull. Researchers are undecided, but there's enough evidence to suggest that intelligence is as much a factor of environment as it is of genetics.

I know the reservations are just a desperate attempt by the Congress to woo the OBC vote bank. They'll probably be misused and exploited, like the SC ST quotas. But that still doesnt warrant the kind of bashing the reservation system has been subjected to. The OBCs deserve a fighting chance and the reservations are the most effective way to give them one.

2008-05-07T12:17:00.000-07:00

Closing Time

I arrived at Chennai central at 3:30 pm yesterday. Ratber predictably, the weather's oppressively hot and I think I'm looking at a month of staying at home, paying respects to visiting relatives and stalking absolute strangers on orkut and facebook. I haven't updated my blog in ages, so I think I'll use this month in Chennai to blog more regularly.

I wanted to write some senti posts on the last days of college, but on second thought those memories are probably too personal to be shared on the tubes.I'll probably be doing reviews of books and movies and the like. Maybe belt some people once in a while in case things get too boring.(The Ramadosses, in particular, merit some criticism for their continued dickheadedness.)

Life's moving too fast. Wish I could slow things down a bit. It's tough coming to terms with the fact that my anarchist days are already over and in a month I'll be a law abiding, tax paying citizen. Sigh. The Age of Kali indeed.

2007-07-29T18:47:00.000-07:00

MUCH ADO ABOUT A MANAGEMENT ASSIGNMENT
A review of I Shrugged - 1 by Aneesh Vadvadgi

In his seminal work on teenage angst and the circumstances that force a simple, innocent, hardworking man to become an outcast and an antisocial, the author, one Mr. Aneesh Vadvadgi brings out how even a simple action like shrugging can end up pissing a lot of people off, if you're the kind of person who can piss people off by merely shrugging.

Derived partly from the author's own experiences, the work explicitly deals with an encounter between him and an unknown femme fatale, referred to only as xx. The dangerous Ms.Xx , described variously as "a glib talker" and "a person [I] held in good respect", leads the narrator on a dangerous journey of betrayal, lies, deceit , downfall and finally redemption.

In his use of vivid imagery ( in fact his imagery is so vivid , that some , like Robert Walpole of the Times Literary Supplement, have said, "His imagery is so vivid"), Vadvadgi shows a mastery of the written word. His writing is powerful and heartrending and his narrative devices unique and exceptional. Consider, for example, " A cavalcade of thoughts ran through my head. Is this right? What is wrong after all? I just need to finish the assignment. Am I doing this for the vicarious thrill of being the cool guy? Let me suggest other alternatives…"

At the end of the story, one is left with an immense feeling of pathos for the author, who after all,was merely trying to be a good, law abiding citizen, paying his taxes and submitting his management assignment on time, but instead ended up nearly getting GPLed. I tremble at the thought of what would have happened to the brightest literary talent of our ages had those evil , GPL- giving hooligans got their way.

"Erudite and magically real... Shakespearean in its grandeur... delightfully sinful...Guilt thumps throughout like Poe's telltale heart." - The Village Voice

"[An] elegant and superbly plotted mystery... with an engaging love story and a full canvas of memorable characters... wonderful" -The Orlando Sentinel

2007-02-08T08:09:00.000-08:00

Finally, some good news.

In a week otherwise plagued by boredom , came news of hope and cheer.
Sidney Sheldon is dead.Yay!!One motherfucker down.
If Chetan Bhagat and Jeffrey Archer get on the same plane and it goes down somewhere above the Pacific, it would make my week perfect.
Die motherfuckers,Die!!!

2006-12-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

CN!Aargh!

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

2006-11-28T09:01:00.000-08:00

"I can't take it anymore" - guy in 2nd yr play

I hope i never see the words runge or kutta ever again.

2006-11-15T03:55:00.000-08:00

i came across this site recently and it has some amazing photos:mrtoledano

2006-11-08T03:56:00.000-08:00

DOWNLOADING BLUES

in greece we have problem with megaupload only 50 slot and are allways occupated!
- arbit guy on projectw.

i just realised today that rapidshare.de and rapidshare.com are different and you can download from them simultaneously.
Still havent found time to read and watch all the stuff i've downloaded.
Damn end sems in 20 days.

2006-07-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

Human interest stories are for assholes

i was watching NDTV for news today and they were showing some sob story about some idiot pakistani whose been stuck in India for years due to the plotting of his evil step brother.This guy is living with some policeman now and he says "Even if i want to watch a movie they give me
cds and i can watch it on the colour tv they bought for me.they treat me like family".and the loser police man - "i never think about spending money on him.he's like family".

when did shit like this become news?

and on cnn-ibn ,they're showing some stupid couple who spent a couple of
years apart becuse of their job."our special feature on long distance
relationships".and this loser fucker says "dedication determination
devotion- the three ds of long distance relationships".

"meet six-year old ram who grew up with a python and now calls the
python his snake sister".i hope the python chokes the kid someday.now
that would be news.

"the new bihari order".

some stupid girl who's filled her room with posters of beckham.

and what are food shows doing on news channels?

someone should nuke the times of india ,stupid whorehoppers who have no
right to exist,let alone to report.and while they're at it also that
stupid chinki guy in cnn-ibn who tries to be the portrait of assured
dignity while reading some story about "the new bihari order" or some
such.

2006-06-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

one hundred days of solitude

the second most exciting thing that happened to me this week was ,i got new specs. my old glasses were bent from me having slept on them a couple of times,so i went to get the frame changed.but the guy in the shop said he couldnt do it.so i now have cool titanium half rimmed frame and for the first time it isnt aquamarine or purple or flourescent green or any cool colour like that.MK says i now look like hawkman.

The most exciting thing that happened to me this week was, me,MK and nikhil balaji went to dinner and nikhil found a piece of chicken in his veg biriyani so we fought with the waiter and didnt pay for it.

Too much excitement can kill you , you know.

Apparently me and the entire population of Somalia are the only people in the universe without broad band.

life's good.hmm.yeah.life's good.

2006-01-18T07:04:00.002-08:00

KING ARTHUR

The glimmering sword lay embedded in the rocky waste. What terrible tragedy had befallen the wielder of that terrible sword, no one knew. For years great warriors from all over the known world had come here to try and wrench it from the dead hand that still clasped it long after it’s previous owner had given up any claim to it. All of them had nearly succeeded. Their rotting carcasses lay strewn about for miles around. The wail of carrion birds filled the air.
I, Arthur, Son of Uther, had come here in search of the fabled sword. A wise man in Mercia had told me this was where my fate lay and on that gamble I had journeyed this far.I grasped it and with all my might pulled it out. I held it out aloft for the world to behold me in all my glory and tremble before the might of Excalibur.
“Pass the Sambar”.

2006-01-18T07:03:00.000-08:00

THREE MEN IN A TUB

“This story is called three men in a tub because strangely enough it deals with three men in a tub” said the master storyteller.

“Wow. That totally took me by surprise. I mean, I never saw it coming.” said the cynic.

“So there are these three men in a tub…”

“Planning a robbery?”

“No. Taking a bath.”

“I see. Conserve water and fight for gay rights. Shower with anyone you meet on the road. By the way, are the bank robbers a regular team or were they contracted for a special mission or something?”

“Actually they don’t know each other. And they are not bank robbers. Or gay for that matter. Or maybe they are. But anyway, that’s irrelevant. What’s important is what they are wearing. It’s crucial to the twist that comes at the end.”

“Are they all wearing lacy bright pink underwear and tight leather pants? Of course that might make it difficult for the guy at the counter to take their threats seriously.”

“No. But the first guy is wearing only his underwear. The second guy is wearing his pant and his shirt. The last guy is wearing a bowler hat, a pair of black shoes and a tie.”

“And nothing else?”

“Yup. Also the first guy is drinking Smirnoff straight from the bottle. The second guy is smoking Will’s king size and reading the Times of India. He doesn’t really give a damn about news. The last guy is listening to what the other two are saying.”

“Hmm. Three men sharing the same tub and the same set of clothes. A bank robbery would do them much good.”

“Well, these guys in the tub, just so happens they are in the middle of M.G. Road at peak hour. End of story.”

“I thought there was a twist at the end.”

“Ah. I was hoping we wouldn’t have to come to that. I was waiting for you to finish your drink. And I have nothing on except my hat and shoes. And that guy next to you is writing down everything we’re saying. Let’s get the hell out of here before we get arrested for indecent exposure.”

2006-01-06T03:36:00.000-08:00

THE DARK SIDE BECKONS...

Having managed to escape from Chennai before they could get me back into my containment chamber,i have decided to drown my cumulative sorrows by losing myself in Star Wars :Knights of the Old Republic.the smell of burning flesh as my double-bladed lightsaber cuts through alien filth... Life doesnt get better.
Also in my newfound resolve to be myself and help others out,i successfully helped Sujit Lalwani identify and correct his faulty Yank accent.
SCORE:Panda-1.phoney bastards-0.
Howl.howl(wookie war cry).

2005-12-21T05:35:00.000-08:00

For Atul who likes serious writing
"There are only two worlds -- your world, which is the real world, and other worlds, the fantasy. Worlds like this are worlds of the human imagination: their reality, or lack of reality, is not important. What is important is that they are there. These worlds provide an alternative. Provide an escape. Provide a threat. Provide a dream, and power; provide refuge, and pain. They give your world meaning. They do not exist; and thus they are all that matters. Do you understand?"
-Titania, Queen of Faerie, The Books of Magic

2005-12-19T05:33:00.000-08:00

Life is just another four-letter word.

When I was at school I had the vocabulary of a normal school kid-a few words to get me through the day and about every expletive in a dozen or so languages.

When I came to college though something happened.

I stopped using the f word. Completely.

I don’t know what got into me. Maybe I bought too much into this turning-over-a-new-leaf shit.

Then one night Piyush and Tare gave me my first taste of metal. They also played this version of Bitchney Spears’ ‘Crazy’ with Metallica’s ‘so what’ mixed in.

I realized with a shock that I’d gone for something like a month without using a single expletive. No, not even on psycho boy.

That night changed me. I made my mind up that night to use Fuck in at least every second sentence. There’s been no looking back since.

So what was the point of that little story.Nothing.Just felt like telling it.

So anyway near the middle of last week life started getting boring. Most of my friends have left for college. (Fuck the Trichy and Calicut administration). You cant read all day. And those fucks in the center plugged out cable TV in my city two years back in a quaint little experiment called CAS.

The Sandman book of dreams had turned out to be a big sham. I was bored and there was nothing left to do but eat, sleep, shag and then shag some more.

Then I discovered Transmetropolitan.

It’s about this crusading Gonzo journalist in the future who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone.

I read on.

And I realized that last sem was shitty because I’ve gone too soft. I’ve started worrying about what other people think about me. I’ve become too polite. Even my writing has veered dangerously close to subtle, at times.

And it just wasn’t me.

“You’re trying to be someone else. Be yourself”
-Vivek Subramanian, 2nd round of news wagon recruitments.

True words.

Welcome to the same old me.

I’m a mean, evil, foul-mouthed bastard and proud of it.

And I maybe no great writer but I can and will use expletives in every second sentence.

And if you don’t like it, you can go fuck yourselves.

“I'm here to stay! Shoot me and I’ll spit your goddamn bullets back in your face! I’m Spider Jerusalem and fuck all of you! HA!”
-Transmetropolitan#3

p.s.rants are easier to come up with than proper posts.

2005-10-23T21:03:00.000-07:00

I'M GOING TO BE NICE TO EVERYONE
I've decided to be nice to everyone.I will not be rude to the pseuds in my life .Next time some one asks me my thoughts on life i'll not tell them to f*** off.I'll not abuse bad Indian filmmakers.I know they are mentally challenged and are trying their best.I'll not wring people's necks for making bad jokes or recommending the Da Vinci Code as a great,eye-opener of a book.I've decided to join the clubs in their great work of uplifting mankind.I will be handing out refreshments to participants at all future aptis/personality contests/dandiya workshops.from now on this blog will concentrate solely on the philosophical and metaphysical.I'm giving up my miserable attempts at humour.

2005-07-09T23:05:00.000-07:00

ALL THE CRAPPY MOVIES I SAW THESE HOLS

Anniyan
what do you get when you take Se7en,matrix and add liberal doses of Garuda purana and Shankar's(or is it shanker)homemade masala?.indian rehashed.and whereas Indian had kamal ,all aniyan has is a cheap wannabe,Vikram who laughably wants a national award for his portrayal(s) of a pathetic iyengar lawyer who loses valiantly in court and love,a pathetic romeo who uses ' romantic' cliches and an irritating accent and a psycho who kills people for small mistakes and leaves behind cute puzzles for the police to keep themselves busy.
i wonder what punishment the garud puran awards for bad movie makers?

War of the Worlds
After AI and Minority Report,sci fi fans expected a lot from mr spielberg.big mistake.
a run of the mill movie with no great moments.like a typical hollywood movie everyone
suffers but tom cruise and his family.dakota fanning has some great moments in the movie 'i want mother''aieeeee','aieeee','aieeee','aieeeee' .i wished someone would shoot her dead.

mr and mrs smith
we've seen ms jolie beat people up and having sex in a dozen hit movies and mr pitt beat people up and have sex too in a dozen movies,so the next logical step is....

Pacifier
Vin diesel manages to get out acted by a duck in this movie.the only memorable moment in the movie was the little girl asking diesel if she'll ever have boobs his size.

2005-06-22T04:10:00.000-07:00

TRUE STORY:G&S SAVED MY LIFE!
The answer to all of humanity's problems.The key to true knowledge and enlightenment.container of such arcane secrets as the 110 equivalent definitions of copolymerisation,hundreds of metal finishing processes the world is better off not knowing and nearly useful chemical stuff no one gives a damn about.
Initiates refer to it only as The Book or Worthless Trash that fetches nothing in book palace.This is partly because of respect for the greatv work but mostly because the name of the book has been the cause of much debate.The book is called "inorganic chemistry" by gadag and shetty but it also contains a never ending chapter on polymers which properly falls under the purview of organic chemistry.Experts have suggested that to prevent any misinterpration the book be renamed "chemistry without life".
The Book traces its origin to a work by an ancient hindu cult dated 1260 b.c.The Holy Cult of The Brain Dead Fakirs had discovered the secret of stopping all functions of the brain and going into a coma so that they could spend eons locked up in a chest.why they would want to do this noone knows but some people theorize that they were bored with life and wanted to fast forward to cable tv and porn on demand.
Next stop,medieval europe and the spanish inquisition.most people tend to look on the inquisition as a draconian and intolerant institution but few realise the magnitude of its contribution to the arts.for in medieval europe Art was beyond the reach of the common man,for it required money,patronage,talent and most importantly willing nude models.most medieval europeans were found lacking in one or more of the above factors.but the inquisition on the other hand took in anyone,and all the job required was a cruel mind,a twisted imagination and the ability of not puking on witnessing sights of gruesome and inhumane violence.The Inquistion was single-handedly responsible for laying thefoundations of body art.
Anyway one of the masters of the body art was The Marquis De Sade.He had already notched up the body count to over a thousand and invented such horrors as the fart chamber, the pungi machine and mess food.but he wanted to make one last contribution ,the crowning glory of his bright career,his magnum opus.So he dug up the old hindu text and added the chapter on metal finishing.He really was a sick man.
The book was part of a secret project by the Americans to develop a cheap and effective sleep pill.they planned to drop it huge quantities over hiroshima and nagasaki,but unfortunately the sub carrying the book sank and they had to nuke the japs instead.The book then washed up on suratkal beach where as luck would have it messrs.gadag and shetty were out on a walk with their dog ,dkmutt.They improved the book by replacing the leather bound cover with a tacky yellow one.So there you have it,a true history of the Book.
I guess i have to conclude now.lets see-the faculty bites ,the book bores and students sleep.thats about it.oh yeah,the chem dept also has a dinosaur but they finally caught up with prehistory and the dinos being phased out next year.

2005-06-17T22:59:00.000-07:00

MUSICAL NITE,SEPT 9 2004.
Dinner was served an hour early so that we could all go watch the NITK
music club perform at the SJA.
i was five minutes early for a show that started half an hour late.so much for perfect timing.
the fourth years ,correction, final years aka the powers that be got the privilege(?) of taking the row next to the girls.And the first years being the lowest in the pecking order were pushed off upstairs from where you could nearly see the stage.
the poor soul on whom fell the terrible burden of giving the intro stepped up.
"It has been one month"he counted,"since college began-36 days and
alraedy 400 final years have been placed".wild hooting from the final
years.
"elections have taken place-we have a great president.what more could
we want?" dramatic pause.
"but there was something missing... "
"PONDY!"shouted someone from the back.
"well ... yes that too ,but what i meant was a musical night.so we today
have it.i promise itll be worth it."he didnt seem too confident of the last line.maybe he hadnt rehearsed enough.
the intro guy then made a nearly smooth transition from english to hindi.i panicked.a whole night of bad hindi speeches was the last thing i needed.
people on stage started singing old hindi songs.
this is it i thought.goodbye heavy metal.

half an hour later most of the crowd was asleep.And then when it was getting too boring two guys at the back started jumping.the intro guy came up and said"its okay to dance and have fun but
please dont indulge in howling".he was trying desperately to be funny.

naturally,someone started howling.soon everyone was howling.
great i thought.it cant get any better.but it did.somoeone had a brain wave and soon paper balls were flying.meanwhile the headbangers had managed to organise themselves into a
cute little chorus that shouted"go fuck yourselves"
but since they had to struggle to make themselves heard above the din and didnt manage to get their views across to those on stage.they got fed up and left.

almost immediately,pi and co stepped up and started playing metal.when they finished the audience shouted"encore".the guys who were singing earlier misinterpretd this and stepped up for a repeat performance of their terribly pathetic version of bin tere sanam.

it thought its about time i left.i left.